this started out as “things I have learnt about staying happy”, but lets face it, you can’t be happy all the time. it’s impossible, and i’m sure it would actually get pretty boring! you need the lows sometimes to really appreciate the highs. i personally think it is just about how you treat the lows and what it is you look for.
crying is sometimes a good thing
i decided to write this piece because i was crying, don’t worry no biggie, a couple of stressful work emails combined with the worry of finding a house to move into by the end of the month are all that is needed when i am this pumped with hormones. a good cry is sometimes all you need just to let it all out and get on with your day. i only wish it didn’t look like i’d had an allergic reaction to my own tears, my face instantly turns into a puffy red mess.
anyway the reason i tell you this, is that about ten minutes later i looked down to greet my cat squidge as she sat down by my desk, and realised she had brought me a poor little dead mouse as a gift. thankfully the mouse was visibly unharmed, so i was ok to put it away for save keeping (in the dustbin), or Luke would have had a nice job to do once he got home. but i am taking this act to be a positive and affectionate one, it made me wonder why i was crying over such trivial things. firstly a mouse family is going to have much bigger things to cry about, and also i have it pretty damn good, i am just getting distracted by silly things.
your lucky necklace may or may not have special powers, but when you wear it, don’t you look for all the good things that ‘the necklace’ has brought you? And even possibly take more risks and act a bit braver as luck is on your side? now imagine if you thought the world was against you, how you would look for all the reasons that it was true, not fun.
i believe i am a very lucky person, i look for reasons why this is is true, and thankfully, i have a lovely long list of simple everyday reasons, and when i’m feeling low i need to remind myself of them.
surround yourself with positive people
the beauty of apparently being a grown up, is that you get to choose what you do and who you spend time with. being a freelancer is very lonely, you work on your own all day, and then when it comes to socialising at the weekend you have forgotten how to talk to people! so i decided last year that i was going to make an effort to make friends and connect with people i would normal just shyly smile at. it meant rekindling childhood friendships that i desperately missed. it meant over christmas making an effort to reunite with old family friends i never get to see anymore (although the plan was to drink lots of wine and in the end i couldn’t do that but oh well), it turned out to be incredible, i think it will now become a regular christmas reunion, which already fills me with that reminiscent warm fuzzy feeling! i have now also got a handful of new friends, lovely new people i relate to for lots of different reasons, some i just recognise my character in theirs and some people that understand my job and that can help me with either coping with it or the scary technical stuff that baffles me. i am no longer a complete loner, which is nice.
change is an adventure
a lot is changing for me at the moment, and i am delighted that it is. we are having a little person, moving house, changing our body clocks (no longer living in a pub) and my awesome mum is moving close by! all these things are amazing, but some are also quite stressful, and i am the type of person to spend evenings on the internet checking estate agent websites, checking the surrounding areas, wondering how i’d decorate the house, getting carried away on the ikea website… then realising i have no money and that i should be working. it can all get a bit much, and it sometimes gets a little scary (i have to give birth to a baby… i have to look after that baby… it will need to go to school and learn about life). but i have thankfully found a way to calm myself, treat it as an adventure, it is new, i will learn new exciting things and yes it will be hard, but mostly incredible. also not thinking too far into the future has helped, i don’t need to worry about how to explain why smoking isn’t cool to a teenager just yet.
or just feel sorry for yourself for a while
if all the positive thinking malarky just isn’t making any difference, and my cat isn’t around to do something stupid, i just have a ‘i am feeling sorry for myself do not talk to me’ day. i go to the shop, buy some awesome food, get in my favourite jumper and big socks and watch funny films, and/or make a den, or listen to my favourite songs extra EXTRA loud (and maybe have a bit of a dance). doing anything that you love to do or that you used to love to do will soothe your soul, it’s obvious, but easy to forget.