things i learnt from my mother…

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do what you love

when i was at high school i remember working really hard, i was somehow provided with quite a good work ethic (i’ll have to find out the secret to that one for the years to come). i was always told, work as hard as you can during your high school years, get as good a result as you can for your GCSE’s. then after that, pick what you actually enjoy to do, something you can get excited about, then do that really well. she used to say there was no point me doing something that pays an incredible wage if i hate what i do. so even though now i dream of buying a house and popping to Italy for a month and eating my weight in pasta, i’m glad i have a job that i can still get excited about. and you never know, maybe in a few years holidays could be a reality again!

don’t worry about what you can’t control

this is something that Mum still says to me, and that i now remind her. it wastes valuable energy to worry and stress about something. sometimes thats a good thing, it could make you work harder and think things through more. but if you have no control over the thing you are worrying about, whats the point? maybe plan and prepare yourself for each circumstance, but anything other than that is just pointless, wasteful, and harmful to your poor nerves!

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look after your skin.

at the age of ten i was told by my mum and grandma that it was time for me to start using face cream. i think it took a few years for it to become regular practice, but it is now something i could not live without. Mum has incredible skin, i’m sure good genes and not worshipping the sun have helped, but the main reason is the care she takes every day. she taught me to cleanse, tone and moisturise every morning and evening, and preached that if i kept it up i wouldn’t have to fall into the trap of wearing masses of make up to cover up unloved skin, therefore producing even worse skin that feels sorry for itself hidden away from the outside world. yes it’s a hassle and yes people tease me that i’m an old lady, but as with so many things, if you show you care and look after something, it in turn, will look after you.

other special influences

this wouldn’t be a motherhood themed post if i didn’t include the other women who have influenced my life. my step mother Carla is from Peru. she has thankfully dragged our very shy and very english family out of the Victorian ages and taught us to be a bit more open. she first started making her mark when suggesting to Dad that he should show me and my brother more affection… “KISS HER!” and “KISS HIM!” were screamed as we were saying our goodbyes. now we have that down, she has dug a little deeper. many years ago when discussing my love life with her (sometimes in a peruvian accent questions can sound like demands.. ) and i said that i loved someone, but that it was scary and complicated, she replied, “either you love or you don’t. if you do, you should throw yourself in, and don’t worry about what happens. if it breaks your heart, it will break it, you will survive, and at least you will then know that you tried everything, that it just didn’t work” i took her advice and i am glad.

lastly i would like to mention my great grandmother Evelyn. she was awesome, she did yoga, she married an italian, she was beautiful (she looked very glamourous in the old photos) and she made her own clothes on her own Singer sewing machine… i think she influenced me a lot as i was growing up. one thing i remember her saying to me when i was very young, which could have been a very straight forward piece of advice, but that i have now also taken to mean more; when commenting on the fact that in her old age she had got a bit of a hunchback (you know the type that very old ladies get?) she told me “emma when you walk down the street, don’t always bend over and check where you are walking, remember to stand up straight and look around”.

women are pretty wise.

 

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